tumblr popularity is worthless it just gets you people legitimately like wanting you dead , and people sending ‘cryptic’ asks like “in 2021 horses will be made of blood” in hopes youll go “omg this is the scariest thing i have ever read this is so fucking cryptid op do you shit” and it gets 7,000,000,000,000,000 note
just watched spiderverse again so here’s another hot concept: now that the multiverse is all blendy, portals start popping up everywhere in new york. it’s usually only for a few seconds, just long enough for a Villain of the Week to fly through and a spiderperson to swing in and punch them back into their dimension, sometimes with an assist from their new spiderman. nyc quickly settles into its new normal and starts debating which spidey team up is the coolest. meanwhile officer jefferson davis is starting to get real annoyed with the homeless-looking guy who keeps wandering through portals to “check up on” spiderman
officer davis: sir you need to go back through that portal right now or you could get stuck here and also die
peter b parker, watching miles swing straight into a wall and try to brush it off like he did it on purpose: haha nice
officer davis, upon running into peter for the fifth time in two weeks: sir please, you can’t just keep walking into other dimensions, it’s incredibly dangerous, you have to-
peter “been there done that” parker, cupping his hands in front of his mouth: yeah yeah yeah just- hold on- hey! hey spiderman! do a backflip!
officer davis, for the thirtieth time: sir. sir please.
peter b parker, who has recently been informed that officer davis is miles’s dad so stop talking to him you weirdo-: i know, this is super dangerous blah blah blah, i’ll go in a sec. but hey listen lol, next time you see spiderman can you ask him if he’s been using baby powder under his suit? especially the crotch area. he was looking stiff that last fight and i think he might be chaffing in the downstairs if you know what i mean-
spiderman, dropping from the sky to just fucking. toss hobo guy back through the portal: haha is this man bothering you officer
1. Of course Peter WOULD still be rocking homeless chic. “I am technically homeless here, Miles. Sure, since I come here on purpose now, I can bring a backpack. But it is still fairly obvious that I am living out of that backpack. Even if your money weren’t, yanno, purple–”
Miles: “It’s not–”
“–and more inflated than the pengő, I can barely afford one New York apartment. You know the most beautiful thing about webshooters, Miles? It’s that if I patented them, it would give away my secret identity. Sorry, did I say beautiful–”
2. At some point an actual credible threat is going to show up, and Jefferson is going to see the homeless-looking guy pick up a truck and throw it at whatever threatened Spider-Man.
For some reason my brain can’t reconcile that this song exists outside of the game. Every note of this is branded on my subconscious. I’ve listened to this song more than I’ve listened to my own voice and yet it still manages to calm my body better than an anesthetic. I’m astral projecting - my thumbs are typing but my soul is playing Skyrim.
Some of you have never gotten all your books confiscated by your third grade teacher because you were reading them under your desk in math class and it shows
#honestly? #it was like when that one character in an action movie gets disarmed and is carrying a hilariously improbable amount of weapons
Inverted doki doki literature club where you think you’re playing a psychological horror game but it is slowly revealed to be an upbeat dating sim/visual novel
I thought I was playing silent hill but suddenly pyramid head asked me on a date.
Honestly nothing would make me happier than a big scary monster poping out from around a corner only to blush and offer me some of the snacks i mentioned liking in a previous level.
Guillermo I know it’s you
“And I would have gotten away with with it if it wasn’t for you kinkshaming kids”
